


Shoot-out

by Ayena



Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Developing Relationship, F/M, Gun Violence, Hurt/Comfort, Mutual Pining, before the game
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-29
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 03:34:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,154
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22957246
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ayena/pseuds/Ayena
Summary: Megan 'Nightingale' Cohen joined the gang few months ago after she run away from home. But outlaw life is not always how she'd imagine it.
Relationships: Arthur Morgan & Original Female Character(s)
Kudos: 2





	Shoot-out

_**Arthur's POV**_

Within minutes all hell broke loose. Someone must have been alerted while you were in the middle of sacking this church. It was supposed to be easy enough job, walk in, steal some valuables and leave. Now you were in the middle of shoot-out. 

With a corner of your eye you noticed Javier falling down and crawling towards the wall. One of the men was standing above him, his gun ready. You knew that you won’t be able to save him. You were too far. But still you ran as you tried to aim. 

When you heard a shot you stopped at your heels. Few more seconds and you would have made it… Then you realized that man holding gun fell down, his blood splattered on the white floor and walls. Javier moved his hands back down and looked around. So did you following his gaze. 

Megan was standing straight with her gun pointed out. It was a perfect shot. You noticed her take a deep breath and for a split of second everything went blank in your head. They were still shooting around you but all you could focus on was her. People reacted differently after killing a man and you waited. She turned and took another shot at a feller coming on your left. She hit him but you noticed that he started to get back up so you finished him off. It all lasted less than a minute but played in slow montion before your eyes.

And then everything went silent. There was smell of gunpowder and blood in the air. John ran towards you, Sean not far after him. Megan was already kneeling next to Javier, his leg bleeding heavily. He was gritting his teeth and swearing under his breath. You watched as she quickly took scarf of her neck and wrapped it around his thigh, just above the wound. He swore when she moved his leg a bit up. The scarf quickly soaked in blood and her hands were dripping red before she wipped them off on her dark trousers.

About an hour ago you were joking with her about that scarf. How she always has it around her neck and how it’s her favourite thing at the moment. Present from Dutch for saving his cover about a week ago during small heist in the neighbouring city. 

"Megan" you said softly, she looked up at you "Go to your horse."  


She hesitated for a moment but stood up wordlessly. 

"John help me get him up" you looked at him then back at Megan "We will put him behind you. He has to get to the camp as soon as possible."  
"Of course."  
"I can take him." John protested  
"I’m better rider!" she snapped back

You smiled. She wasn’t wrong. 

"You will cover her just in case. Me and Sean will stay behind to clean up and make sure no one is following you."

John nodded and you carefully raised Javier together. Megan was already on her horse. With a bit struggle you led Javier towards her, he was still strong enough to pull himself up. He whined loudly from pain but stayed on, wrapping his arm around her waist.

"You’ll be fine?" she asked turning her head to him  
"I’ll manage."

He leaned his head on her back. You damn hoped he is not going to fall down during the gallop. You shifted your attention back to Megan as John jumped on his horse. She caught your gaze and you gently squeezed her hand. 

"I know the way" she assured you as if she was reading your mind

And yes you wanted to ask her that because you didn’t know what else to say. You wanted to make sure she is fine. Killing your first man wasn’t easy and she wasn’t born into this, for this… You looked into her big, blue eyes again before she budged her horse to move.  


You swore under your breath as they disappeared in the distance. 

You sure hoped she is not going to close in on herself after that. She did keep her cool up until now. Surprisingly. You did not expect her to take another shot after that fatal one. Sure, you have seen her reacting with ease during the hunts, she was a quick learner and a willing one. That is why you enjoyed taking her out on those.  
This though... This was completely different. She wasn’t raised in gun smoke and sounds of shooting. Unlike you, this wasn’t the life she knew or understood. Yet at least. You knew she likes shooting but practising on bottles or wild animals wasn’t exactly the same as a shoot out. 

You have been shot at once before while escaping a town after drunk row in a saloon. But none of you shot back then, you managed to disappear into the dark woods.  
This was middle of the day, sun high in the sky. You looked around at the dead bodies as Sean was already looting. Five maybe six of them. They did not look like a law. They also weren’t bounty hunters. You were pretty much sure of that. Some poor bastards looking for easy score once you retrieved all the valuables. You just weren’t prepared for it. You would take different people then. Not Sean who is not very good shot, not her who never killed before.

Or maybe you were wrong. Men got fooled by her big blue eyes and innocent face, by her supposed carelessness and a bit naïve way of going about her life. But you already knew that is all an act. There was more to her, sure she was soft and gentle and patient, so god damn patient. And she was caring. Even towards you. It took you a while to accept that. It wasn’t much: small gestures like brining you coffee in the morning, helping you to clean your cuts and nurse your wounds, sit down with you reading a book when you were writing in your journal. And she was never pushing, letting you lead the conversation, especially those serious ones. You greatly appreciated that. This and her closeness. You never dared to assume it meant something more, that she would give you more than her kind presence. You also did not think you deserve it, in this form or any other for that matter. 

But she was also brave. She left everything she knew behind to join you and fought hard for the place between you. She didn’t want to be side lined from the start, reduced to invisible camp help. And she managed that. Much of that was to Hosea who quickly recognized another con artist in her. People liked to be around her, she was good to laugh and talk too but she was also a great listener. She was vigilant, watching her environment very closely. That is how she quickly learned about people, the rules that were accepted around camp. And she adopted those perfectly. Even Dutch seemed to be fond of her quite quickly when he learned that she is so much different from Sean. First surprise being that she can speak Spanish, another one that she can actually read and write. Not so common, especially in poor Irish communities where she grew up. 

_"One thing that mother did very right by us was send us to Sunday school and leave us time to read and practise writing before sending us to work" she told you once "She made sure we have best chances with what we got."_

You looked at the corpse in pool of blood examining the perfect shot to the chest. With this close range he never stood a chance. But her hand had to be steady. And she stood strong, just like you thought her. You were aware that she must have made the decision in split of second. Especially since she was told to cover. And you felt wierd sense of pride that she did that. No one would held it against her. She wasn’t a killer like the rest of you. And yet she saved Javiers life. You rubbed your beard and swore under your breath. You spend few more minutes looking around before following Sean back to camp.

_**Megan's POV**_

We rode into the camp together. We had to slow down at the end as Javier was barely holding on behind me. John had to ride beside me to help me. That is why the last part of the journey was rather slow. 

I stopped my horse and John jumped off immediately calling for help.

"Hold on, Javier. Few more seconds" I whispered turning my head to him

His hand squeezed on my waist a bit as I felt his head resting on my back. 

"You saved my life" he said suddenly as if he just realized what happened 

Seconds later Bill and Lenny were next to me with John helping.

"What the hell happened?" Bill swore as they tried to take Javier off the horse  
"Careful!" I shouted as I watched them do that  
"You saved fucking my life" said Javier once again, his eyes closed, weak from all the blood loss

They carried him to his tent and Mrs Grimshaw was all around him in moment together with Mr Pearson and Reverend Swanson. 

Soon I was left alone. I took a deep breath and leaned my forehead on Beasts neck. I patted him feeling how warm he is. Only now I felt my clothes sticking to me. Javiers blood must have been all over me and my horse. Slowly I straightened and got off feeling a bit dizzy. I took another deep breath and looked at the saddle while caressing his black fur - traces of blood left on my hand. But it could have been so much worse. Javier could have been dead. I might have been transporting corpses now and this would be a nightmare. 

I slowly started to unbuckle the straps of Beasts harness realizing that my hands are shaking. I squeezed them into fists scolding myself. Nothing happened. We were back safe in the camp. Javier will be all right once they patch up his leg. 

I took the muzzle hanging it on the branches nearby. I noticed Dutch and Hosea coming towards me. 

"Boy says you saved his life" Dutch said laying hand on my arm  
"I did." I tried to smile  
"Your first one?" he continued

I nodded. He wanted to say something but I stopped him. 

"I’m fine. I just ruined the scarf you gave me"  
"I’ll be sure to give you another one, Ms Cohen" he chuckled shortly  
"Where’s Arthur?" Hosea asked and I looked at him, he seemed worried  
"He stayed behind with Sean to make sure no one is following us."  
"Javier is the only one who got shot?"  
"Yes" I nodded "The guy who went after him seemed to be very prejudiced against Latinos."

I remembered the words he was shouting towards him before he raised his hand to take a shot. 

"What happened there?" Dutch asked me  
"We were packing the valuables on our horses when they jumped us. We were completely off guard. They must have known we are there. It looked like they were waiting for us to be done with retrieving stuff, counting on an easy gain."  
"So it wasn’t the law?"  
"Definitely not."  
"Good" Dutch touched my arm yet again "You sure you’re fine?"  
"Yes" I nodded again smiling "How is Javier?"  
"Weak" Hosea was still looking at me worried "He lost lot of blood but the wound doesn’t seem to be very deep."  
"He is young and strong. He will be back on his feet no time. You can go see him." Dutch encouraged  
"I will give them space. I will go to him later once he is all nested in."  
"Of course." he nodded

They were about to walk away when I stopped them. 

"Dutch. That’s todays score. I think you better take care of it." I tried to give it to him  
"Let’s wait for Arthur. He will make sure it’s divided justly."  
"As you wish" I nodded. 

Several minutes later John came to find me. I was cleaning Beast, trying to wash blood of him with semi warm water. Saddle was already cleaned and lied to dry in the last afternoon sunshine. 

"Need help?" he asked coming closer  
"No, I’m almost done."

I threw last bucket of clear water on my horse and watched him shrug it off before running away. 

"How’s Javier?" I asked cleaning up after myself  
"Sleeping. But he will live."  
"I’m glad. Do me a favour Dutch asked me to give it to Arthur when he comes back" I gave him valuables "I need to go change and clean up and they should be back soon."  
"Sure."

I left him with a bag and went towards my tent grabbing a bottle of whiskey from kitchen cart on my way. 

_**Arthur's POV**_

When you rode into the camp the sun has already started to set behind the horizon. John was waiting at the perimeter holding guard. 

"How is Javier?" you asked him before you even got of your horse  
"He’ll live. It was hard last couple of miles, he almost fell off. Mrs Grimshaw patched him up, he’s resting."  
"Good."  
"Today’s score." he gave you bag "I’ve heard you were supposed to divide it."  
"Me?" you scoffed  
"That’s what Nightingale told me" he shrugged 

You looked around and noticed her caring the saddle towards her tent. Sean run to her and hugged her as soon as she put it down. He shouted something excitedly and she laughed shortly. She turned her head towards you but you weren’t sure if she noticed you. He pulled her over to the fire where Bill and Lenny were already half drank. You sighed and left John as you went towards Dutch. He and Hosea were sitting outside his tent. One was playing with cards while the other was observing. 

"Arthur my boy" Dutch stood up welcoming you "Are you all right?"  
"I’m fine. I’ve heard I’m supposed to take care of the score?"  
"You were there you know best who to gift and how." Hosea said, something bitter in his voice  
"You’re fine, old man?" Dutch caught on that and looked at him, his brow furrowed  
"Look at her" he gestured towards Megan "So young, been here what? 7 months? And we already turned her into the killer."

And it hit you. The simplicity of that statement. He wasn’t wrong, there was no way of turning from that now. It happened and it will probably happen again. Easier with every gun shot and man down. 

"She made that choice" Dutch said turning to him  
"Did she, Dutch?"  
"She came to us willingly. She knew who we are, who Sean is, how we do stuff around here. And she decided she does not want to stay in camp. She wanted to do more which was very brave of her."  
"Yes, she is brave" he said, still bitterly "Arthur have an eye on her for next couple of days, will you? If not for yourself than as a favour to me."

You wanted to ask him why would you do that for yourself but you didn’t want to start that discussion here and now. Hosea always saw more than everyone thought. Instead you glanced back towards the fire. Sean was laughing loudly, unbothered by anything, having toast after toast. You hoped to hear her laughter. God, you loved her laughter… It was like the whole word came alive. There was a smile on her lips but she wasn’t as energetic as usually. And, yes, you were worried about her from the minute you saw her taking that shot. 

"Sean doesn’t seem to be bothered" you said shrugging, desperatly trying to stay as far away from her as possible "He knows her best doesn’t he?"  
"Sean is drowning everything in alcohol and has emotional intelligence of a rat" Hosea scoffed at you  
"His intelligence generally is a matter of question" Dutch took a sip of a whiskey before pouring another glass for you  
"I’m not goin’ to argue that" you nodded, taking a big sip, alcohol burning your throat "Remember when we thought she is going to be same as Sean?"

Dutch laughed. He was the one who said that you can always use another clueless, Irish bastard. It turned out very soon that she is so much more than that. Hosea was first one to recognize that. Dutch was impressed by her intelligence and her willingness to learn. You still remember when you found her with him listening to music in silence. Every feller around the camp seemed to be smitten by her. Obviously. She was a new girl around. She quickly became friends with Abigail, helping her with little Jack anyway she could. It took her a bit longer with the girls. But soon even them got over their jealousy and distrust. She wasn’t here to take anyone’s place. She just wanted to fit in. And you understood that need. 

You kept your distance for a longer while, especially that you did not think much of her. At first at least. Sure, you could admit that she was nice to look at and you left it at that. Until one day you saw her sitting at the river bank right before the sunrise. The sky was painted in shades of pink and violet. She had her eyes focused on calm water, knees pulled up. You stopped at your tracks suddenly stunned by her. Like that she was the most gorgeous thing you ever lied your eyes on. She was peaceful and her face looked gentle and so very innocent. Suddenly you felt the urge to draw her, afraid that your mind will blur that image from your head. She must have felt you starring because she turned her head to you and smiled. And you felt warm. This was dangerous but it was too late to turn back. 

_"Good morning Mr. Morgan" she said to you as you approached her slowly  
"I was under the impression you hate early mornings, Ms Cohen" you said, sitting next to her "And it’s Arthur please"  
"I hate them with burning passion" she laughed quietly "But sometimes I like to come here and watch sun rise. I like water. It’s calm. And don’t call me Ms Cohen, it makes me feel old."  
"Old?" it was your turn to laugh "How old are you anyway?"  
"Rude" she scoffed and look at your face, there was mischief in her eyes "And here I was told you are perfect gentleman, Arthur."  
"Whoever told you that – lied." you held her gaze  
"We shall see about that" she bit her lips and you stared at the for few seconds before scolding yourself in your head. "I’m 22."  
"Jesus" you said quietly _

__

She looked young but somehow when she said that it hit you harder. 

__

"I think all of us are glad she is not" Hosea brought you back to present moment "We needed someone like her around camp. Somehow with her it’s more."  
"Just admit it you’re sweet on her" Dutch laughed  
"Even Arthur seems to be smitten" he answered looking at you 

You scoffed. Even if this was true you never wanted to run around and talk about that. It was for you only, even she would never know about that. A man like you would never deserve her and it was best this way. 

"Will you at least have an eye for her as I asked?" Hosea pushed on with his request  
"You or Dutch could talk to her same as me. If not better. You have better way with words."  
"Maybe so. But I’m sure she is more likely to tell you what is bothering her" Dutch supported him  
"Fine" you waved your hand finishing your drink "I’m going to take care of that."

You took a bag and went towards your tent. You needed to change. It was late evening and day was far from the easy and relaxing one.  
You cleaned yourself a bit, changed into the more comfortable clothes and then took care of a score dividing it carefully, leaving one part for the camp. Most of it was gold and jewellery which you will have to sell in few weeks. In one of the boxes you noticed silver ring, simple enough to wear on daily basis. You moved it to Megan’s part hoping that maybe she'd like to keep it for herself. 

You made a round around the camp giving the parts away. Dutch nodded to you as you put some to the common box. You went by the fire looking for Megan but she wasn’t there. 

"Arthur" Sean shouted to you giving you a bottle "It was a close one"  
"Too close" you muttered  
"Is Nightingale all right?" you asked him  
"Meg?" he seemed surprised by a question "Sure. Why wouldn’t she be?"  
"She killed her first man today."  
"She saved Javiers life. She will be fine, she saw death. It’s nothing new."

Bill stubbled upon you and they both laughed at something. You sighed. For Sean bottle of beer was really enough to forget about everything. Or maybe he just knew her better than you. After all they grew up together, you were close to her only for few past months. 

Then you noticed her sneaking around in the darkness, avoiding the fire and people, coming from Javiers tent back to hers. You waited for a moment before following her.  
You stood before her tent for few seconds not sure if you should bother her at all. But you had her score. You could check on her and leave if she didn’t want your company. 

"Meg?" you started  
"Come in" she answered

You went in and closed the flap behind you. She was sitting on her cot with book in hands. There was only one candle lit making it quite dark inside. 

"I brought your share" you lied it on her table  
"Thank you" she smiled gently "We will have to sell in a while, right?"  
"Ye, after it gets quiet about what happened."  
"Will you take me with you? When you go with your share?" she asked and you looked down at her, catching her gaze  
"Sure" you smiled to her gently "You don’t feel like partying?"  
"Not really, no" she crossed her legs sitting more comfortably on her bed "I wanted to read a book."  
"It would be hard with this light" you smiled pointing towards single candle  
"Got me here" she laughed gently  
"Are you all right?"  
"Everyone keeps on asking me that."  
"We have good reason for that" you decided to sit down on a ground opposite to her giving her space  
"I’m fine" she seemed a bit nervous  
"All right. Sean seems to certainly think so. He knows you best."  
"Right" she smiled "Sean is… He has this certain image of me in his head. I think he is proud of me. He was afraid that when he brings me here I will just be washing and cooking, where in his mind I could be free to do whatever I want."  
"You are free to do whatever you want. That’s what we are all about here" you lighted the cigarette  
"And me killing this feller proved to him that I will take all that I can from this life."  
"I guess there is certain logic in that" you shrugged as she reached her hand for your cigarette

You watched her taking a drag and then another one, before giving it back to you. There was silence for a moment and you watched her silhouette covered in soft darkness. Her long hair were let down and she was looking at something before her, absent minded. 

"I just don’t know how I feel about that" she said breaking the silence  
"There is no right way to feel about it, darlin’" you told her softly, moving closer  
"Should I regret it more?" she asked "I took someone’s life."  
"And you also saved your friend. It was either him or this man who you never saw, pointing at him, shouting slurs."  
"You’ve heard that too."  
"Yes" you nodded "Listen you can make yourself regret it more, thinking about what he did in life, about his family and friends, whether he had wife and kids but it’s best to avoid that. Guilt will destroy you. You did it to save Javier's life, I wouldn’t have made it on time. If you didn’t make that decision he would be gone. And I’m damn glad you were brave enough to do that."  
"It felt powerful" she admitted looking at her hands "For the first time in my life I had control over everything that was going around me. It felt…"  
"Free?"

She nodded and then stood up reaching under the table. She pulled out a bottle of whiskey. 

"But it shouldn’t feel like that. I just killed someone. I…" she looked at you  
"And it will probably happen again." you tried to sound as gentle as possible "If you continue to ride out with us, no one will promise you that this situation is not going to repeat. Unless you stay in camp. But this is not why you joined us."  
"No" she sat down on a ground opposite to you leaning her back on a bed frame 

She opened the bottle and took big sip before giving it to you. You have heard loud laughter and singing from the outside. 

"You can go if you want" she said quietly and it seemed to you that she is hoping for you to stay  
"I am perfectly fine here" you assured her getting more comfortable

And it was complete truth. You enjoyed her company. It was relaxing. You found it really easy to talk to her about everything which didn’t happen to often. You usually just kept everything to yourself. For some strange reason you wanted her to know you. Not for what she hears from people around the camp but to get an opinion by herself. You hoped that maybe she will want to get distance from you then, once she sees how cruel and violent you can be. As of right now it seemed completely opposite. She straightened her legs so they were touching yours. 

"The last time I felt so free was when I galloped the horse first time" she smiled fondly to the memory, bitting her lips 

Her eyes were reflecting faint light of the candle. And she was so god damn beautiful. 

"How much do you know about Sean?" she asked suddenly looking at you face  
"Not much" you drank some alcohol "He doesn’t talk about his family or life before joining us."  
"He had an older brother, Killian. He was working at the horse ranch not far from where we lived. Me and Sean used to go there ever since we were old enough to be out by ourselves." she smiled "And we helped him around there. He thought us how to ride."  
"How old were you?"  
"7? I think" she took bottle from you as you lighted another cigarette  
"That is why you are so good with horses" you chuckled  
"That’s whole mystery." she laughed and you felt goose bump 

It was always different when she did that just with you. For a moment you could feel like it was only for you. 

"And the guy who was a steward at the property was Mexican. Another mystery solved for you." another chuckle left her lips  
"It is amazin’ that you were willing to learn all of that."  
"I wanted to learn all I could even though the options were limited. I felt like I can use everything at some point in my life. I enjoyed that, it gave me so much more possibilities. I always wanted more and that is why people around were so annoyed with me. I never could settle."  
"And that is a bad thing?"  
"It was back there." she shrugged "There was only one road to go for woman and most just went for it. And maybe I would have too if it wasn’t for Killian. Sean got bored of helping around horses pretty quickly and found himself other things to do. Soon he started to run with you and disappear for a longer periods of time. Everyone looked up to his brother, you know? He was working hard, helping his family. Model citizen in a community and Sean felt like he could never compare so he went to find his own way. But Killian wanted more like me. He wanted to leave, see the world, be his own man. And we fell for one another."

There was a sad smile on her face now as she was reminiscing. 

"Sean asked me to come with him to join you before but I didn’t because of Killian. We were happy. And I’m pretty sure people thought that we would get marry soon, that’s why they left me alone. Even my mother."  
"So what happened to him?" you asked 

Your hand found it’s way to her leg as you caressed her. A poor attempt to comfort her, as you already knew this story doesn’t have happy ending  


"No one knows" she wiped tear from her cheek and took another sip "He and Miguel went to the horse market few towns away and never came back. It’s either they got killed and someone stole horses or they stole horses and run away. I like to think it’s the first one, my sister tried to convince me it was the second. Not long after that my mother died and my sister, well her husband, decided to sell our house and that I will move with them."

She wiped another tear and you suddenly felt an urge to bring her into your arms and keep her there. Safe from everything that might have happen. You wanted to take care of her but at the same time you knew that this is not your place and you have no right to do that. 

"Anyway, all I’m saying is Sean is not a bad guy." she looked into your eyes  
"I never said he is" you smiled "He is like an annoying little brother to me. I’m just glad you’re not like him."  
"I’m sure I can also be annoying Mr Morgan" she bit her lips cheekily  
"Oh, I’m sure you can." you squeezed your hand around her leg stronger "It’s and Irish thing."  
"Don’t you have Irish roots as well?" she tilted her head  
"None of you god damn business" you laughed drinking "So you and Sean never...?"  
"What is it to you?"  
"I’m just curious" you shrugged "When you arrived here and shared the tent we were sure you’re his woman."  
"When I got here I didn’t know what to expect so it seemed safer" she held your gaze "I never was his woman and I never slept with him. How about you Arthur? You’re not sweet on any ladies around here?"  
"I don’t feel like they would give me what I want."  
"Not even for one night?" she pushed you on  
"I tried that. Doesn’t work for me. Abigail, it was nice but…" she was smiling widely "You knew!"  
"I knew" she laughed "Abigail told me. One drunken night."  
"What about Javier?" you asked her, alcohol in your veins made you braver  
"He will be fine."  
"That is not what I’m asking darlin’" her skirt had gone up a bit and you were caressing her naked skin now. It was soft and warm and she seemed to be enjoying that.  
"Javier is more into whores in town."  
"I doubt that."  
"I’m not really into one night stands and he is not the one for steady relationships. I don’t doubt he’d love me but he’d also love four other women at the same time. And I like to feel I’m the only one if I’m to do that."  
"I thought you didn’t want to be a wife Ms. Cohen."  
"I don’t want to be traditional Irish wife but I wouldn’t mind being someone’s woman or even wife if it was on the terms I accepted."  
"It would take a very special man to deserve you."

She didn’t answer but kept on looking on you. She moved her fingers and skipped them on your leg. For a moment you let yourself think that she could be yours, that she would take you for everything you are and do. Quickly you pushed that thought away knowing that she deserves so much better. But she kept on looking at you. She brought bottle to her lips and you wanted to kiss her. If you knew there would be no tomorrow and no consequences of you actions you would have done it. Take her in your arms, kiss her, caress her body, let yourself feel her skin under your fingers, feel her hot breath on your face as she’d gasp when you’d pleasure her. 

But there was another day and you didn’t even know if she would let you. Sure, she slept in your arms as you were out on hunting trips but that was for warmth and safety. She trusted you enough to bring herself closer and fell asleep but you couldn’t hope she wanted something more. 

You drank well into the night sharing stories from the past. She told you a bit more about her horse lessons and life in Irish community before it all went to shit. 

"How old were you when Dutch found you?" she asked  
"15. When my mother died I found myself in the streets, very much like you. We never really had anything and my father was not a nice man before he left for good. Dutch found me running wild and tried to make a decent man out of me" you laughed quietly  
"I’d say he made a pretty good job" she smiled  
"I guess." you shook your head "He taught me to how to read and write. That improved my status. At least I had some guidance."  
"And I was left to run around free." she laughed  
"I didn't say that" you rubbed back of your neck "Also, that’s what you were made for. That is why you finally found your way here."  
"I am fucking glad I did."  
"So am I" words left your mind before you even thought about it

Alcohol in your veins didn’t make things easier for you. She was too close and you felt like any minute you will loose your resolution and strong will. You growled and slowly stood up. 

"We better get some sleep" you muttered 

She sighed and reached out her hand so you could help her get up. You pulled her up and she swayed into you leaning her hand on your chest. 

"Sorry" she smiled a bit shy 

You were this close before, it shouldn’t be nothin’ knew but suddenly you felt overwhelmed. It seemed so much mor realistic inside her tight tent. It was dark and quiet and her fingers moved on your chest gently. She smelt like soap and wind with a bit of floral scent in her hair. But you could also smell blood and this reminded you what happened today. 

You touched her face and grabbed her chin so she looked at you. 

"You’re so fucking beautiful" you told her moving your thumb over her cheek bone 

She bit her lip and shook her head as you brushed hair behind her ear. You felt her other hand on your waist. She was so close and you felt hot and almost couldn’t breathe. Your palm went down to her neck caressing it gently. She closed her eyes for a moment relaxed. 

"You sure you’re all right darlin’?" you asked her again  
"Yes, Arthur. Thank you." she looked into your eyes  
"Sure" you leaned in and kissed her forehead "Get some sleep."

She took a step back and let you go. You didn’t know if you would have been able to stop yourself from kissing her this time. She seemed so small in your arms, so vulnerable. You could have sheltered her from everything, maybe this time you wouldn’t fuck up. 

But as you were walking to your tent you felt autumn air around you and the same old fear crept on you. What if that is not enough and you loose her? What if you die and she is left to mourn you? No, she deserved something more stable than you. Someone without your past, who can give her future she deserves. And this was more than this camp, more than killing and robbing. And this was all you were.

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first story even pubslished. All the comments are appreciated. I'm sorry for all and every mistake as English is not my first language.


End file.
